So…last night I am sitting on the couch in the later evening watching my recording of The Biggest Loser. As they pan from the tippy tippy toes to the top of the head of one of the larger guys my six year old looks over at me with some of the biggest eyes I have ever seen and says”WOW” - that’s all, just that one word and I silently nod.
After putting said six year old into bed and grabbing a beer and my Jimmy John’s sandwich (oh so yummy) from the fridge I settle back into the crook of the couch with the remote and press play to watch the rest of my program. So they are having a challenge, a CUPCAKE challenge and everyone is doing so well. Some are smelling the cupcakes (how do you just smell a cupcake without taking a lick?) and only two ate any! All I can think is…”I want a cupcake” – doesn’t a cupcake sound good, one with sprinkles?
At the end of the program they get up on the scale for the weekly weigh-in. Now I am not so silently wondering “How did these people get so big?, Don’t you notice? I glance over at the table next to me and see my balled up sandwich wrapper and two empty beer bottles and the fat fairy slaps me on the side of the head – “THIS is how you get there!” I make a resolve, I AM going to start working out…tomorrow.
I have nightmares all night long, I wake up several times thinking – “Oh God, I have to work out tomorrow” and then as the clock creeps slowly toward the waking hours of dawn “I have to work out TODAY”. I am already finding excuses, “I didn’t sleep well, I have too much work to do, I have to sit around with a fire extinguisher at the ready in case the house starts on fire.” (I was REALLY reaching).
The time comes when I can avoid it no more, the children are all at school, the dog has been let out and it’s just me and the TV. I pull out the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD (You know, the woman that tries to KILL people on the show) that has been in my collection for a couple of years now. I have watched it a few times while sitting on the couch in fast fast forward but that is the extent of my time with this workout DVD.
It takes me almost 15 minutes to figure out how to use the XBox 360 remote to get the DVD started and I make it 7 minutes into the workout DVD before I died – I think I actually may have died. My eyes were closed, it was dark, I could hear the blood rushing to my head, I could hear myself breathing inside my ears and some crazy lady was saying “just keep it going” from a far away distant place.
When I regained my senses and realized where I was I started to laugh – what the hell was I doing? Leave it to me to go full steam ahead from the get go. Tomorrow maybe I will try a leisurely walk?
PS – I hear that lady in the living room winding down her workout and asking me “Don’t you feel better now?” I sure do!
